Transform is Not an Ugly Word
Since human civilization began, states,
nations and religions have settled their differences with war. They were essentially battles between men
seeking change and men defending the status quo. The confrontations continue to
this day with leaders demanding support from
their members on every rule they make.
The power
of the men who lead the confrontations seems, however, to be slipping. In "The Post-Man: Charting the final,
exhausted collapse of the adult white male, from Huck Finn to 'Mad Men'" (New
York Times Magazine, Sept. 14, 2014) film critic A.O. Scott describes the succession
of literature, movies and TV shows depicting the collapse of men's superiority--an old power structure both built
by and serving high ranking white men.
Scott traces how many American heroes
have been young men on the run, refusing adulthood, and refusing to accept
marriage and responsibility by rejecting stereo-typed "good" women. After Scott laments no one knows how to be an adult
anymore, he explores how men's identity crisis is affected by a force out of
men's control: the rise of women breaking out of their stereotyped roles.
Dov Seidman, who wrote How: Why How We Do Anything Means Everything, (Wiley; Expanded edition September 21, 2011) speaks of the changes in the business world today that are collapsing the old corporate structure of the hierarchy, which was designed for top down management to make decisions on information passed up the corporate ladder. With the high growth in communications technology providing both that information to everyone on the World Wide Web, plus the ability to talk to anyone anywhere, Seidman says there is a shift going on from the power of command-and-control hierarchies to the power of collaborative, horizontal effort.
"More
profoundly than just getting things done. . . relationships lie at the heart of
who we are. The free flow of information
encourages trust and collaboration and creates
a dangerous playing field for those whose game is to shade the truth." Seidman says behavior is shifting from rules-based
to appropriate actions that build trust.
Family
structures are transforming, too. Today,
less than half of American households are married couples. My father's role in
our family when I grew up was sole breadwinner. He was strong, silent, and made
all family decisions. But to participate in today's evolving world, we men are
called to communicate and sell ourselves better at work and at home. For some of us, like me, forming better, more
trusting relationships is a learning
curve. I spent my whole corporate career being like Dad, very
competitive with co-workers, trusting only a handful of people, and not
disagreeing with superiors.
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