Introduction



Welcome!
 

So Dad, What Makes a Man? is a growing up story you can use. 

Lee Roy Beach, Ph.D. (Psychology), author of seven books on thinking, personal and organizational decision making, wrote: So Dad, What Makes a Man is the well-told story of Tom Peery's journey toward maturity and self-awareness. The universality of his journey, combined with his unique experiences along the way, makes his story both compelling and instructive."

 
I describe my first half of life, a highly competitive, knowledge-driven corporate employee who talked without listening--like many current political confrontations today on TV--and a second half striving to hear and accept people not like me. I start with my father, who was my first teacher, a strong, silent, dominant and, no-nonsense man.  Then came my peers' sex education, an engineering degree in an all-men's college, a two-year men-only hitch in the military, and twenty-five workaholic years in a corporate hierarchy managed by men.

A chance gift near the end of my job distracted me from work, but when I took early retirement, I had no idea what I would do. I was lost. I learned in a hurry my wife did not want help rearranging our home, and headed for the local library. From then on, I was gracefully brought to one opportunity after another to learn more about what I enjoyed and how to nourish aspects of my life other than being intellectual. Building relationships included.

Today, men's work roles are shifting. I had joined a corporation in the 1960s with full confidence that, like Dad, I would spend the rest of my working life in one company. Today's young men may work for as many as ten with much closer colleague teamwork. Competing with my peers had taught me little about relating to them. I had much to learn.

Nowdays, older men running political organizations are producing congressional stalemates instead of national unity in tough economic times. Who thinks that is helpful?  But careers are transforming as technology provides information to everyone--threatening knowledge-based hierarchies--wireless phones are connecting us to people all over the world and women are moving into formerly male roles bringing their own set of attributes.  In these challenging times, what are men to do? Who are we, what do we want and enjoy, and how do we go about getting it?

 
The day before his twenty-first birthday, my son asked me what makes a man, and this book is my response to him in the form of my own story--but it is not about telling him, or you, what to do. We are all on the same journey but taking many, many different paths. To the extent some men don't openly discuss the personal aspects of their lives that I have written about, the intent of my book is to advance the conversation about male identity today. 

Fannie LeFlore, editor of M. Scott Peck's The Road Less Traveled and Beyond, wrote: "Those informed and inspired by the late psychiatrist M. Scott Peck’s ground-breaking, 1980s-bestseller The Road Less Traveled will welcome the themes in So Dad, What Makes a Man, a new book by Tom Peery that covers wide-ranging ground about personal growth into manhood, in refreshing ways, given the profound need for diverse voices of reason to promote positive messages.
"Peery's book is among voices of reason due to its potential to encourage others to stop, think and reflect more deeply. It may serve as testimony of the ripple effect of how when individuals grow and change, America as a whole may become more open to embracing fundamental changes."

After the "Book," "Author," and "Reviews" tabs, the "Links/Resouces" tab lists people, organizations and books that have helped me along the way.

You can download the electonic version of the book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Apple's iBookstore. Order the paperback version by clicking the "Buy the Book" tab at the top of the page or at any bookstore near you
May you go well,
Tom Peery



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